Rantings in G Minor

Maybe it's time to take a different approach...

2011-05-12T05:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's time to be honest with myself.

I've had battles with my weight most of my life. There was only one time in my life where my perseverance was paying off, I was losing weight the right way. It was back in 2002. I was not deterred from going to the gym, working out, eating right.

Then I hit a plateau at around the beginning of 2003. It still didn't stop me. I kept going.

Then my dad got sick, and passed, and for some reason, all of my emotions got in the way of everything else. I let everything get in the way of ME. Year after year, the same thing... some emotional thing would affect me, some health thing, and I would stall or make excuses. NO MORE EXCUSES.

The past couple of days, I have been noticing more aches and pains than I normally have. I actually caught myself, moving and reacting like my mom was twords the end.

WAKE UP CALL... I'm headed for an early grave if I do not do anything NOW.

I'm going to be starting a second blog. Not sure of the name yet, But I will do (hopefully) daily updates on how I am doing.

No longer am I looking for the magic pill to take off the rest of my weight. I will not be doing weight-loss surgery. I'm going to do it the way I need to do it. Exercise and watching what I eat.

The missing link that I didn't do before, I'm going to work out on the inside as well. It's time to build up my esteem, how I think about myself. MY WANTS, MY NEEDS.

When I have the new blog set up I will link to it.

Life isn't a sprint, it's a marathon.... and it's time for me to start training and going through it, not watching it pass me by.

I'd say wish me luck, but that would indicate that I don't believe in myself. But now, I actually DO believe in myself.

Talk Hard!
G6

lost

2011-04-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

The radio show is going good, as far as I can tell. I have fun doing it. My co-host is insanely brilliant when it comes to his musical knowledge, and I am thankful that I am learning about different types of music from him.

I'm still looking for the new residence, Ive broadened my options to that of condo's, but its not my first choice.

I have also somewhat sunk back into a cocoon, other than the things that I *HAVE* to do.

I am going to be doing a walk raising money for finding a cure for ovarian cancer

*INSERT SHAMELESS PLUG*
You can donate/sponsor me here
and yes it can be anonymous.

Getting to the meaning behind the title of this little scribing. Did you ever feel like you aren't real? Like you second guess yourself? Don't get me wrong, I know everyone second guesses themselves all the time, and I am not so naive or self-important to think that I am the only one going through these feelings. I just hate when I get like this.

Im not only second guessing myself, I am second guessing everything I know. So for my friends, Im not alienating you (at least I am not trying to). And to be honest, I feel horrible about a lot of things lately.

The Tool song Stinkfist comes to mind for me lately. Check out the awesome video for it.

"It's not enough, I need more, nothing seems to satisfy-I don't want it, I just need it, to breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive"

There are so many ways that those lyrics can be interpreted. You could say its about someone who is done with their current station in life. It could also be interpreted as a love song. As for me, its purely the former.

I'm purely impatient, to the point that I am annoying even myself, and the last thing I want to do is subject anyone to that.

I just want to feel like me again

Live Baby, LIVE!

2011-03-28T18:10:00.000-07:00

SO... the radio show is official, and while I should have posted about this a few weeks ago, I didn't...sorry.

Thursday Nights from 10 PM- 12 AM (CST) is the internet radio show I co-host, called NOTEWORTHY.

Me, along with my co-host Ivan, play some tunes, talk about show's we have seen, talk about the artists, and just have fun.

It has been seriously fun so far, and I'm still getting my "on air" legs going. But definitely give it a listen, and BE KIND... I'm new at this, so I'm bound to sound like a dork more often than not.

If you would like to tune in, there are a couple of different ways you could do it.

Go here-uicradio or you could go to live365 and search "UIC".

Talk Hard Kiddies!

Love n Rockets!
G6

362 days

2011-03-12T15:30:00.000-08:00

If you would have told me a year ago, that I would have gone through what I have gone through in the past 362 days I would have laughed at you and thought you were crazy.

You warned me, a year ago today, that it wouldn't be long. I looked at you and said "Ma, don't say things like that, keep fighting, everything will be fine!"

You were taken from me that following Tuesday morning.

I will never forget that day. I woke up, feeling great, at the crack of dawn, went to the gym, was energized, and for the first time in a LONG time I was happy. Little did I know, it would also be the last time in a LONG time that I would be happy. It was 362 days ago that I heard you say "I love you" for the last time. I for some reason was the one to hear this, your last words. It was on the phone, after your doctors called me at work, telling me to get to Loyola as quickly as I could. I asked to talk to you when they called me, that was when you told me, those last words.

Nee and UA were there with you, but after that call you said no more. When I finally got to the hospital, you were already gone. All I could do was cry, hold your hand, kiss your forehead. I couldn't let go, I still cant. I looked at you and made a vow that day, to always do my best to make you proud, and every day I try to do just that.

I miss you and love you so much Mom, and while I know you're with me, I would give anything to sit and talk to you again, have another one of your hugs, or hear you laugh one more time.

Love Always,
the Baby

2010 GOOD RIDDANCE (I hope you had the time of your life)

2010-12-31T14:24:00.001-08:00

As happy as I am to see this HORRID year come to a close, I am thankful (yes again) for many things that I have learned over this year.

I have learned to deal with loss, losing the most important person in my life this year (Mom, not a day goes by that I don't think of you, and use the skills, knowledge, and advice that you have given to me throughout my life).

I've dealt with and learned about addictions, my own, as well as addictions of those I care so very much about.

I've learned the true value of family and friends.

I've done some considerable growing up. I have learned to stop and smell the roses, keep memories and laughter alive, and to fight through the tears.

I've made some awesome new friends, and strengthen bonds with the friends I have had for years.

All in all, it has been a character building year for me, and as shitty as it was, I am thankful.

Looking forward, I turn the page to the next chapter of my life. I fully intend to make it a happier chapter, and I fully intend to keep learning. When we stop learning, we are as good as dead.

I want to wish everyone out there, a very happy, prosperous, and healthy new year. I hope it is filled with magic, happiness, laughter and music.

Talk Hard!
G6

So it's sunday, November 14th

2010-11-14T19:48:00.000-08:00

On this day in 2003, My family and I decided to take my father off of life support. Wednesday marks the 7th anniversary of his death. Thursday is my mom's birthday. It is safe for you, my lovely reader, to assume that I am not in the best mood. But, I'm actually ok. I am breathing in an out, I am remembering the good times, and the good things about them, and trying to get through it all the best way I know how.

If you know me well, personally, you know that when I'm down, I do things to shake stuff up in my life to adjust the focus. After I do that for a short period of time, I come back down to earth and all is normal again.

I have done a temporary deactivation of my facebook account. Basically just to break free from it for a while. We all had lives before facebook, and we had to work a little harder and actually take the time to connect with people on an active level. At some point, I'm sure I will "virtually" reappear, but just not right now.

I also have started to change myself physically. Back to the gym working out, and I also cut about 5 inches off of my hair, changed the color up a bit, and even I have to get used to it.

It is by no means short, but a lot shorter than I have had it in a very long time, but I think its pretty rockin' if I do say so myself.

Tonight I had the pleasure of meeting one of my best friends' mom for the first time, and it was truly a delightful experience! (SIDE NOTE: hey Mamacita, tell your mom It really was fun, and I hope we can all get together again soon), and I also got to see another of my friends that I havent seen in a while tonight, and you lady, always crack me up!!

It was great to get out for a night, and laugh about nothing and everything all at the same time.

I suppose I am rambling again, and this is really not taking much form tonight. Sorry 'bout that.

Gimme a couple of days, I'll be back to music and concert watch and reviews, as well as maybe a good ole rant blog again. Lord knows the snow will be falling soon, and we all know how my grand neighbors don't like to shovel (HA!)

Talk Hard!
G6

What a difference a week makes

2010-10-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

Here I am, able to post another blog. For this and so many things I am thankful.

I am thankful for having a job and insurance. Without them, I would be in a world of financial hurt right now.

I am thankful for intelligent and skilled and caring doctors that helped me after a year of pain, very bad pain.

I am thankful that I do not have cancer. I am thankful that my surgery (even though it took twice as long as anticipated) was successful. I'm even thankful for being so with it, that the second they took the "gas" off of me, the ventilator off of me, and the tube out of my throat, I was sitting up on the OR table asking for my sister.

I am thankful I was able to keep my ovary, and I am thankful that I can still have kids.

I am thankful for my friends and my sister being there with me the entire day. Without you I wouldn't have made it.

I am thankful for my family and friends supporting me before, during and after my surgery. I love you all more than these words could ever express.

I am thankful that the day after surgery, I was able to take a walk, for 7 blocks that lasted 45 minutes.

I am thankful that 4 days after surgery, my pain was almost gone.

I am thankful that I can go back to work tomorrow, and the gym next week.

I am thankful that I finally know the reason I was so moody, so tired, so broken out, and so sluggish. Those things seem to be almost completely gone!

I am thankful to be learning to live my life, the right way.

I am thankful

Tomorrow

2010-10-06T13:13:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be an interesting day.

I've never had surgery before, and to say I am apprehensive about it is an understatement. But I will be there, at the time I am supposed to be (barring traffic).

I'm sure I will be just fine, but took care of everything I needed to take care of "just in case".

For those of you as friends of mine on facebook... watch the wall to see any changes, or if everything went ok... I told someone to post to let people know.

From what I understand I will be in the best possible hospital for this procedure, and will be taken so well cared for. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

I have full faith in my surgeon, my doctors, and my anesthesiologist (and the awesome nurses too).

As much as I have been comforted by everyone, I am still nervous.

To my friends.
You are an amazing group of people. You have stood by my side through this, calmed my fears, made me laugh, made me remember, and I can never thank you enough for that. I am truly blessed to have you all in my life.

To my family.
You keep me fighting, you keep me grounded, and you do not let me fall. I know when I reach out, you are there. I am so thankful for your unconditional love, even when I am difficult, and even though I have been a bit crazy, especially as of late. I would have never made it without you.

To my Mom and Dad.
While I know you're not physically with me, I know you are watching over me, I know you will be with me tomorrow, and through the rest of my days. Your guidance through my life have made me the person I am today, I will always have you in my heart, and my soul. I love you both dearly and miss you always.

Not much left to say... but see you on the flipside.

Love on ya!
G

Laparoscopic....

2010-09-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

Cool sounding word huh?

Well here is my continuation. In about 2 weeks time I will have Laproscopic surgery to remove my ovarian cysts on the right side, as well as possibly my right ovary. I have left instruction with my surgeon that if cancer rears its ugly head, that he has the green light to give me a full Hysterectomy (which is what he would have to do).

Thursday I go meet with my Anesthesiologist, and have a pre-op exam, and then I wait.

Since seeing my surgeon, I have stopped smoking, I have begun to eat healthy, and am trying to do things right for a change. I only hope its not too late.

More to come.....

It all started as a pain in my lower back

2010-09-17T20:54:00.000-07:00

About 10 months ago, I had an annoying pain in my lower back. It was a bit persistent and I made an appointment to see my doctor. I never had a problem going to visit my doctor before, and I was due for a checkup so I was not expecting anything out of the ordinary. Honestly I was expecting her to say, you pulled a muscle, take some tylenol and suck it up.

But this time was different. She examined me, and asked me questions, which ended up leading me to have an ultrasound, just to make sure I was not having something like kidney stones.

I have had ultrasounds many times, and they never bothered me. This time was no different.

I got the call a couple of days later, "It seems you have a few cysts showing up, I want you to come in for a different ultrasound to get a better look"

No biggie, I wasnt worried, she assured me that I really didnt have anything to worry about, but it was better to get a view of what was going on.

I went for the next ultrasound, this one way more invasive. To the point that I felt like I should have gotten dinner from the radiologist first.

It was confirmed, I have ovarian cysts. Still I was not worried, it is a very common thing in women my age. They usually go away on their own.

"Come back for another ultrasound in 3 months"

This went on about 4 times. Cysts appeared, and disappeared, on both ovaries. But one cyst just didn't go away.

During the times I was having these "check-in's" I went through A LOT. I lost my mother, went through other trials, with friends, with people more than friends, with work, with family. Life was purely stress, and these cysts were honestly at the last of the long list of things to worry about. Honestly, I simply thought of them, as the little reminder of my lower back and now lower front pain.

Last month, I went for my 4th ultrasound appointment. I got the call a couple of days later

"Its time you go see a specialist, this needs to get taken care of"

I figured I would hear those words, and I still was not fearful. I am 34 years old, relatively healthy, and going through something that many women my age go through.

I went to see my specialist, she looked at all of my films, all of the reports. She examined me, and made me feel as comfortable as possible. She truly is one of the best and most professional doctors I have ever met, and I am so glad she is my doctor.

She discussed with me the possibilities of what these cysts may be. And assured me, that very very rarely would a cyst such as what was not going away was cancer. I had no worries at all. Just to be safe and to rule out the worst, she had me take a CA-125 screening.

The results came back that my levels were elevated, which can be an indicator of cancer, but also, this screening is not the best, and there are many factors that can go on with a patient to give false positives or elevated levels.

I also have yet another ultrasound, this one a doppler, which measures blood flow among other things. It was then that a second large cyst was discovered. It had not been picked up on any of the other ultrasounds that I had.

The call came the following Wednesday, this past Wednesday to be exact. "I am going to talk to the surgeon to discuss what I am seeing in this doppler, Im pretty confident that these are benign cysts, but there is a strong chance that they have damaged your ovary, and it may have to be removed along with the cysts"

For the first time, I actually begin to slightly worry. Having children is one of the most important things that I have ever wanted to do, and I have not yet had the chance to experience that joy.
She assured me, that I will still be able to have kids, and I believe her, and I know one day I will.

She told me that the surgeon would give me a call tomorrow to discuss what steps come next.
And sure enough, the next morning (yesterday), I got the call. "I am concerned about the cysts that are appearing on your ovary, and adding to my concern is the levels that your CA-125 screening are at. Please make an appointment with me for early next week so I can examine you and we can get everything set up."

Now I don't know what cards are being dealt for me, but no matter what, I am going to stay positive. I will remain unflappable. No matter what is dealt to me, I will handle it. With strength and grace, its how my mother taught me to be.

This weekend, I plan on listening to my favorite songs, I will walk my dog, I will see friends, I will laugh and I will live. And I will continue to do that for as long as I can after this weekend, no matter what.

This whole experience that I am going through has taught me a valuable lesson. I always tried to not take life for granted, to not take the little things for granted, but for some reason, it really has a different meaning now.

To be continued...

LOLLA 2010 and other fun news

2010-08-16T16:51:00.000-07:00

I will do a very very quick and brief review of Lolla.

This is the first year, I went to Lollapalooza all on my own. I actually met up with some great people and made some new friends from it!

I saw a bunch of great bands and was totally stoked to see SOCIAL DISTORTION for the first time in Chicago in about 3 years, but I will get back to their set in a bit.

Friday, I went to see the Drive By Truckers, which are ALWAYS a good time. Devo, which also was good, however I was a bit sad to see that the only song that most of the people watching their set knew was Whip It. Even more surprising was the number of songs from them that I actually knew.

After that was some Black Keys action, which I have seen a few times now. They are really a good set, however I really wish they would get back to their roots. One of the great original things about them was the amazing sound that would just come from the drums and guitar. Now that they have added so many to it, its just not the same, and honestly, not as special.

Friday was the night for GAGA, and let me say, I really loved her show. There were times she rambled on a bit talking, and after a long hot day in the sun, I kinda wanted her to just shut up a bit and sing. She had numerous set and costume changes, and seriously was totally worth going to see. I had seen The Strokes before and had no problem making the decision to see GAGA.

Saturday, MY ASS WAS DRAGGING... so I showed up to the fest later than I anticipated. I started my day with Gogol Bordello, who I actually heard for the first time at Lolla 08. They are SO MUCH FUN LIVE. The music is described as Gypsy Punk, and I think it fits. They are totally high energy, and what I look for in a live performance is just that. You can not help but feel the music, get involved, and have LOTS of fun dancing and singing along!

After being caught in the middle of the GOGOL PIT, I was a bit parched and hot, so I bee-lined over to the beer tent that was closest to the parkways stage, set to buy a beer and a couple bottles of water. I got up there, made my order, and then all of a sudden, a guy, who looks very much like MTVs Dan Cortese, tells the girl that was about to take my money that "he's got it" and that he knows me. He continues to wink, and says "I know you" and smiles. Me smiling back looks a bit confused, because I KNOW I would remember this guy if I knew him. I say, "You must be mistaken" to which he replies, "OH no, I know you, you tweet". I was dumbstruck, didn't know how to respond and now wish to find out who this guy was. If anyone has a clue, email me or comment on this post.

After Gogol was AFI, they were fine, commercial, safe, and nothing unexpected. To be honest, my sites were set for the following performance, the return of SOCIAL DISTORTION!!!

My love of this band is unchanged, but please allow me to say, that music festivals do not always allow for the energy that you normally would get from a certain band or song. I am very used to seeing SxDx in smallish venues. They were great at lolla, but due to the crowd, heat and fear of passing out, I actually kept my distance from the stage for this set. They sounded great, however I prefer the energy I get from them when I see them at a place like the congress, or HOB. THANKFULLY on Oct. 20th I will be seeing them at the Riviera, and I CANNOT WAIT!!!

After SxDx's set, I hung around for Slightly Stoopid who is currently touring with Cypress Hill. Great Set, fun music, and if you aren't familiar with them, seriously... check them out.

Next up was GREEN DAY. This is a band I would honestly not spend money on the tickets for a concert on their own, but I do dig some of their tunes. Billie Joe was definitely a showman, and played to the crowd. However, there was a bit too much crowd interaction. They sounded great on the whole, and I really enjoyed their show, but seriously, I dont want to see you pull someone up on stage to sing longview, and not well. I would rather see GREEN DAY perform it. But on the whole it was a good show. The craziest thing about this show, was one of the people I met was actually brought up on stage and stage dived off after meeting Billie Joe and the band, and the pic of him doing so has been plastered all over lolla's site and other news websites.

Day three... I must be getting old, because I was seriously exhausted and didnt make it downtown until about 4:30. I checked out a few songs from a reunited Porno for Pyros (heh, was ok) then Verve Pipe, and ran to catch Erykah Badu. This set I dont know what to say about. First, she was late, about 20 minutes. THEN when she finally did perform, she only did parts of her songs, not full songs. I did enjoy her, but feel that I would have gotten more out of it had she done a few full songs than just a sampler.

Next up was Wolfmother.... ROCK!!! great set, they are truly a decent festival band. Sound was great, energy was there. If you have a chance to see this band, do it.

One of the bands I was really looking forward to seeing was up next, CYPRESS HILL. This is a throwback to my High School days, and honestly, I HAD A BLAST SEEING THEM. Everybody was having a good time, singing/rapping along, dancing, it was SO MUCH FUN!!! B-Real and the boys have not lost it at all after all these years!!

Next up was the one, the only, reunited SOUNDGARDEN!!! I was sooo looking forward to this show. Ive seen Chris Cornell a number of times, and he always did some Soundgarden songs, and they ALWAYS sounded great. HOWEVER... there were many times through Soundgardens performance that I thought it sounded way off. It could be because of where I was watching them from, I have heard that the soundboard was F'd up from Wolfmothers set, among other things. I have also read reviews that the show was phenomenal (I had to wonder if the people saying this were watching the same show I did). There were some songs that sounded good, but I was really kinda let down by this one on the whole. To the point that I left at 9:15 (45 minutes before the end of their set).

For a concert/fest that I originally was not going to go to, I am really glad I went.

NOW for the fun news... besides going to see Social D again in October, it seems that I may be hitting the airwaves soon in the fall. Stay tuned to the blog and my twitter posts to find out more. I wont be doing a podcast now because of this development.

Well keep it swingin' cats n kittens!!

Talk Hard
G6

Learning new things...

2010-07-06T16:44:00.001-07:00

So lately the word apathetic has been popping up in not only my vocabulary, but also in my mind a lot lately. Considering everything that I have gone through in the past 9 months I suppose it is only natural for me to have these feelings.

A good friend asked me today if I feel apathetic about myself, and honestly I had never really thought about it in those terms before, and as I sat there outside big willie I realized that I did.

I had never pegged myself like that before, I had never been apathetic about myself before and it is abundantly clear that I am. Obviously this is no bueno, and steps must be taken to get rid of this thought pattern in my life.

SO, I do believe I will be taking myself to a therapist, just to see if I can road-map myself out of these feelings and into myself again.

It could be something that I have needed for a long time, even longer than going through my mothers illness and death. Who knows, but I do know for the first time in my life I am actually reaching out for help.

You might ask why I am blogging about this. Well to be honest, I have my reservations about it, but this shouldn't be treated like some dirty little secret. In a way, if I don't get this out, I am kind of keeping it a secret from myself.

I am hoping to make this into a new journey in my life, and who knows what will come out of it, but I am hoping it will be (and I have a good feeling it will be) something good.

I thought about doing a rant again, thinking that was going to get these disdain like feelings purged from me, but honestly, all that does is alleviate a temporary symptom.

I can say right off the bat, I owe some people some apologies for the hypersensitivity that I have been feeling lately. I guess I have always been a sensitive girl, from the time that I was a kid. I learned to roll with things, and adapt, but I always come back to myself. I guess we all do.

I suppose this is enough blathering for one night... I have some freelance to take care of, and am hoping for a great storm tonight.

Talk Hard!
G6

Has the whole world gone crazy?

2010-06-13T12:56:00.000-07:00

K so Im freaking out now. last night things seemed ok but strange... it was just eerie you know? Quiet, Cold, and the air smelled weird, almost chemical.

This morning, I woke up to my dog circling in her cage and she apparently got sick. Her fur was standing on end. I was able to calm her down some, and she ate and drank so I think that helped her too.

I decided to relax myself, and take her for a walk. Things were fine, on the surface, but something seemed really odd. NO ONE was out, no one walking to church as I would normally see on a sunday morning.

We went on our normal path, normal streets, but houses were boarded up that weren't yesterday. I heard sirens in the background, but being in the big city, thats fairly common.

I saw some guy in the distance, and he was a bit swaggered, I figured he just had a bit too much to drink, and maybe it was carried on from the night earlier, after all the carnivals are a plenty right now in my neck of the woods.

Fox and I kept walking and this guy was getting closer, he seemed sick, and as we started getting closer to him, instead of barking foxy was flipping out, the guy out of nowhere, lunged at me, and was trying to bite me.

I was able to get him off of me, and figured I should probably get my ass home. I RAN, faster than I ever have. Got in, locked up the doors and calmed myself again. about an hour later, that guy and now another guy who also looked drunk and sick, were in my alley. and the original guy who lunged at me was now missing an arm... WTF, how the hell did that happen?

Thankfully they didnt see me peeking out at them, and they staggered off, not too long after I heard sirens and screaming closer to my apt, and I went into my yard and saw some mess of red in my alley.

I am back in my apt now, locked up tight, but not sure how long I should really stay here. This is too freaky for me, and I am beginning to freak the F out. Im really thinking I should get the hell out of here.

I keep checking the news and the radio, trying to see if something is going on... I swear I just saw some guy on a local newscast in the background of a reporter attack and start to bite and chew on some dude.

Im seeing that some of my friends are encountering similar things, all over the country. Some even not too far from where I am.

WTF.... something is knocking on my window... F this, I am getting out of here....

Maaaan... FUNK DAT! Or Blogging Tourettes

2010-06-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

I haven't had a ranting blog in a while... Peter Griffith had "what really grinds my gears" Louis Black has himself, then there are the Gods of all rants Denis Leary and Dennis Miller.

My turn...

Some things lately have been really irking the shit out of me... allow me to regale you with a few, just to cleanse my growing disgust with todays society.

I know this is probably gonna piss some people off, and I don't mean any disrespect to anyone.

You know what... FUCK that. I'm saying what I'm feeling.

WTF is up with illegal aliens, who refuse to speak American english when in public. Listen, you are more than happy to take American money for jobs that people who were born here are now fighting for, that actually WANT the jobs, but can not get. You also enjoy the health care, the free education for your children who run wild through stores with no respect for anyone around them, but because you don't want people to listen to your conversation, you INSIST on speaking your native tongue LOUDLY. Oh yeah, and dont think I forgot about how it seems when you do pipe up in english, its usually to complain about what you haven't gotten for free from the TAX PAYERS OF AMERICA.

Next Up...

WTF...If you know someone has a problem with something, that is detrimental to their physical and mental well-being. DO NOT PLACATE AND ENABLE THAT PERSON TO CONTINUE WITH THAT PROBLEM. While your heart may be in the right place, saying NO once in a while will not kill you and may possibly SAVE THEM. When we are born, most of us are taught NO for a reason, not just because our parents would "say so" it was usually followed up by a damn good reason not to do something. Those of you with kids now, even those of your who don't have kids, obviously you don't want to be the bad guy to your kids or your friends or family, but you are doing what is best for them. Why wouldn't you protect the other people you care about in your life the same way?

How 'bout another...

WTF is up with people who walk like their shoes are stuck in quicksand or molasses during morning rush in the train station. Listen tourists, this applies to you. when you are downtown, in a train station during rush hour... and you see there is a virtual river of people around you moving in one direction, take my advice. MOVE TO A SIDE TO FIGURE OUT WHERE YOU HAVE TO GO. Don't just stop right in the middle of the river of people and make everyone stop behind you, cause you just aren't quite sure if you want that coffee from Corner Bakery, or you want to stuff your face with cookies from Mrs. Fields.

Speaking of the rush hour commuters... HEY TRAIN JAGOFFS... when someone has a very heavy bag and your dumb ass is taking up 3 friggin seats, MOVE YOUR SHIT SO SOMEONE CAN SIT DOWN. OH BY THE WAY, no one cares who you are on your crackberry or crackphone with, TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH SKID ROW... use your inside voice.

HEY YOU... Girl working in a corporate office, I'm sure there is a dress code where you work, I know I have one where I work, and I am sure if all of the ladies I worked with decided to wear a sweater only that comes down to mid thigh, and no pants or skirt or bottom to speak of, there would be memo upon memo about how it is inappropriate unless we worked for Lady GaGa. Are you trying to advertise that you try to use your physicality to get ahead? While going to a bar or a club after work, it may be more appropriate, its not at the workplace. I think there is another profession that does that though. Pardon me while I try to remember what are they called?? Oh yea PROSTITUTES.

you know, I don't by any means think I am more important than anyone else, and I try to be as respectful, mindful and courteous to everyone I encounter... but it truly amazes me how rare it is to find other people like that lately.

I could go on at length, but I really think this is enough for one night.

Talk Hard!
G

When does happily ever after really happen??

2010-05-28T18:58:00.000-07:00

From the time we are small we are filled (at least us girls are) with visions of a knight on a white horse swooping us off and riding off into a spectacular and breathtaking sunset, with the pivotal kiss at the end before the credits roll.

But we are never really told about what actually happens, we just have to live it. Well, live through it, that is.

Then around the time of college (for some of us earlier) we get the messages of being a solid independent woman, supporting yourself, making things happen for yourself, having your autonomy, to eventually rule the world. Are these messages to counter and balance the "happily ever after" ending that we dream about when we are little girls?

Maybe so, but for some of us true romantics that wear our hearts on our sleeves, we still hold out for hope and hold onto the idea that one day, our prince will come.

I've never claimed to be a princess or high-maintenance, but if you think about it, neither was Cinderella. I am not looking for someone to give me diamonds and shower me with gifts.

Shower me with affection, be honest with me, respect me, teach me, most of all–love me. It has always been about the simple things for me.

Im sure there are many people out there that would echo my sentiments on this.

I've never wanted a perfect man, perfect is boring, and frankly does not exist. Rich men (for the most part, and I'm sorry to generalize) expect too much, and usually disconnect at some point, basically saying that most things in their lives are purely acquisitions, and are in fact "things".

What ever happened to the happy medium?

May is almost over... yay?

2010-05-24T13:54:00.000-07:00

Finally, a warm day in Chicago. Yesterday hit the mark with almost hitting 90 Degrees. Today is another warm day, low 90's and I locked the house up tight hoping that the central air that cooled the crib throughout the night, stays cool so I don't have to pay for it running constantly.

SO YES, more changes are afoot for me. I was officially approved for a mortgage, I'm hunting for a house, still going through my mom's things (which I do know will come to an end, sometime, hopefully... *sigh*)

ALSO, I discovered a great freelance site (thanks for the tip, Jen) that I am going to be registering on to see if I can amp up my freelance clientele.

I got my Lolla ticket and am totally Jazzed about going, and this should be the last year I go, Mr. Ness and his band of sickboys will be there (more on this show in a bit). AND since I will have a mortgage, and tons of new house bills, I will have to curb my rock-n-roll lifestyle.

Recently on the twitter-front, I put out a query of who some people have discovered musically that they really dig (because I am constantly on the search for new bands) and someone suggested the band Volbeat to me. Totally dig em. Check out some of their tunes, see if you dig 'em too. OH and if you want please follow me on Twitter, just search GirlSixx and you shall find me!

Yesterday was my Dad's birthday. Happy birthday Dad, I love you and I hope you had a great day!! I miss you every day!

It's really kind of strange not having your parents around anymore. There was one time I looked at a friend of mine and said, "Fuck me, I am actually an orphan now". Yeah, I'm an adult (which can mean varying things on different days), but the fact remains that most of us turn to our parents for advice, happy moments, sad moments. Kinda like the old cliche of the kid running his first touchdown on tv, turning to the camera and saying "hi Mom!".

When I got the call saying I was approved for my mortgage, my first inclination was to pick up the phone and call my mom to tell her the news. I was so proud. Then it hit me, I had no where to call her (well here anyways). Yeah I know she is proud, and she knows what is going on, and she is smiling down on me. It's the selfish part of me, that wants her here to see, so I can hear her voice, see her smile, hear her advice (which is always different from everyone).

Lolla–I'm pretty damn excited for this one (don't I say this every year?)SOCIAL DISTORTION, original Soundgarden, Green Day, Lady GaGa, Gorgol Bordello, Arcade Fire, the Strokes, Black Keys, Spoon... here go look for yourself. I'm sure there will be scheduling conflicts again, but no matter what I'm going. We all know why.

Alright Kiddies... time for me to do other things. Let the jukebox keep on playin' and Talk Hard!

G6

When we were last with our heroine...

2010-04-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

The last post I had was a short thanksgiving greeting, that little did anyone know that it was a second post on that day. The first one was a long diatribe sulking, bitching and moaning. I basically decided that there was no purpose to keeping that post up, took it down, and kept it simple.

Lots have happened since that little re-post. Christmas and New Years came and went, I made some decisions in my life, I lost my mother to aplastic anemia, gained lots of bills, and actually had to kind of grow up.

If I have learned anything in the past couple of months, it is this. TOUGHEN UP, stop whining, and look at things as they are, and carry on with your life the best way you know how. At least that is what I have been doing and it seems to be working for me.

I can only do, what I can do, and if you don't like it

I am getting back into the music scene again, and while I was dead set against going to Lollapalooza for the 7th year in a row, I have decided that I will go this one last time.

Oh yeah... and now on a house hunt! yay

Catch you later... Talk Hard!

G6

Thanksgiving 2009 (amended)

2009-11-26T09:05:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving,

Its about family, not food. Im thankful for my family, my friends and my job.

I hope you all out there have a wonderful day!

Talk Hard!
G

Sweet Home Chicago

2009-08-22T18:19:00.000-07:00

Update: I'm not going anywhere! Chicago is my home, and this is where I will stay for now. *wink*

Now onto other interesting things, this coming week I have lots to look forward to. NIN shows on Friday AND Saturday, and then Motorhead with Reverend Horton Heat and Nashville Pussy on Sunday... YEEEEHAW!!

And just to make the deal a tiny bit sweeter, I have the following Monday Off!!! Oh yes I'm Excited!

Considering this is supposed to be Trent Reznor's last tour, (we all know how last tour's go) I have to see him. I'm really glad that the show is going to be at the Aragon Ballroom as well. Just as I suspected, it is indeed sold out. It will be one hell of a show. Ah yes, the good ole' brawl-room. This will be interesting.

My first experience there was when I was 17 to see the Black Crows with my very good friend Kelly. We had a blast there, other than the asshole who kept trying to feel me up during the show. He got a great elbow to the stomach a few times.

I'll give him that he was persistent.

It seems I may have an extra ticket for the Friday show, so hit me up if you are interested.

Oh some quick updates, since May 12th down 35 lbs. AND, I am starting a Soy Whey protein diet tomorrow morning!! I'm actually excited about it.

Getting a tad ticked that my pants are constantly falling down, but hey I'm glad its that way instead of them being too tight.

Podcast - NEXT

Dyed my hair dark brown with one blond streak on the right side, I know I have to post pics, but I dig it, A LOT. Its been YEARS since I had anything remotely close to my natural hair color. I suppose its true what they say, God gave it to you for a reason, USE IT.

I'll check in again soon cats and kittens, in the meantime, get meaner... and keep swingin'!

There are some good things about walking in the rain

2009-08-19T18:00:00.000-07:00

Sure, a summer rain can be refreshing, cleansing, and cool down humid/hot temps. But what I was most thankful for today was in the downpour, no one could see me crying.

My life has seemed to turn upside down in a matter of a few days.

Now I've always been a pretty resourceful girl. I have always managed to pull myself up by the bootstraps and keep chugging along, and yeah, I come around, stronger than ever.

Let's face facts, the economy is for shit. Some of my closest friends have lost their jobs, and most are having a hell of a time trying to get a new job.

While I still have my job, I am under tremendous stress and worry considering my company was just acquired by a HUGE global conglomerate. A company that will have little to no use for a smallish creative department.

The beauty of being a graphic designer is that I can do it from anywhere.

Here is where the rain came in handy.

I am faced with a decision that is life changing. I am considering a move half-way across the country.

There is a history I have had for the past 13 years, that has been a major part of my life, and something that I know I can never walk away from. But in the balance is my family, my friends, and Chicago as a whole.

I've blogged about the health of my mother before, this is my number one concern with this decision that I am struggling with.

Do I follow my heart? I'm so torn, and I truly do not know what to do.

I've often dreamed about a fresh start, and this could be my opportunity to do so. It's frightening, and exciting. I call out to my friends, my personal friends, who I know are reading this.

I need your counsel more now than ever, I am at a loss, and I am so unsure of everything right now.

Saturday 6 AM

2009-07-11T04:37:00.000-07:00

Im up way too early for a Saturday. I had some nosh already and I think I may either go for a ride or go to the gym.

It's rainy out here in the land of wind, big buildings and the voting dead. But that never stopped me from hitting the mountain bike.

I may just go for a walk with the fox.

Last night was particularly restful for a change. Just chilled at home, and relaxed. It was very needed.

Gotta keep going with the to-do list. I have a number of concerts I need to get my tickets for, one being NIN and the other being Motorhead with Reverend Horton Heat and Nashville Pussy.

I love the Rev, and saw him last year with Nashville Pussy and Backyard Tire Fire.

If you haven't seen the Rev, it truly is a must see. This man gives a high voltage performance every time he steps onto stage. With Nature Boy Jimbo slapping that stand-up bass by is side, the sound is swingin'.

Nashville Pussy does NOT disappoint. If you want some good ole rock n roll with some stink of the south on it, YOU NEED TO SEE THIS BAND.

Now I have never seen Motorhead, and honestly, would never before go out of my way to go see them, but I'm glad I'm getting the chance to. I keep remembering from the movie Airheads "Lemmy is God" so I figure, why not right. Full review coming after this show.

Back in May NIN was here in Chicago (sans Jane's Addiction) on their NINJA tour. I unfortunately missed ticket sales, and had to miss the show. It was at Northerly Isle (which is one of the ONLY outside venues I actually like). I wanted to go SOOOOO bad, but the concert was run by Live Nation who has a new way to do tickets, which makes it a tad harder and a tad more expensive to get after sales tickets (aka from a broker or a scalper). And truth be told, I HATE getting tickets from a broker if I dont have to.

Much to my surprise yesterday, NIN is coming back to do an intimate show. Presale is going on in a week and you can bet your ass Ill be online refreshing as much as I can to get my ass to that show. Im not missing this one, because this will probably be the last time NIN is in Chicago for a very long time if not forever.

I was fortunate enough to see NIN last year at Lollapalooza, and Reznor was just as I remembered him. Except now, he isnt some skinny guy, he cut his locks and the man is PUMPED.

Watching him on stage was something else. He did all the old favorites off of Pretty Hate Machine and Downward Spiral. He did my favorites Burn, and Gave Up, as well as some off of Year Zero and the Slip.

I'm sure this concert will leave me fulfilled. I do wonder if he will be here with Jane's though, considering, Jane's is playing Lollapalooza this year, and they do have the "NO SHOWS IN CHICAGO 2 months prior or post LOLLA if the band is performing in the festival"

I know so far 2009 has been a disappointment on the concert front. I did get to see Cornell up close and personal, and saw him in a full show at the Riv, but all in all, I lost Musink this year where Mr. Ness was supposed to be. I had Rev cancel out on 2 shows, and have yet to see when SxDx will be back here.

KMFDM will be back in their hometown in October, and I do have my tickets for that. I'm COMPLETELY jazzed for that. "feel the hunger inside, don't lose your trust" Cannot wait for that show.

Alrighty catz n kittenz, thats enough for now. Time to get off my ass and do something.

The dream is over... or has it just begun

2009-07-10T20:07:00.000-07:00

"There's a place I like to hide, a doorway that I run to in the night.
Relax child, you were there, but only didn't realize it and you were scared.
It's a place where you will learn to face your fears, retrace the tears,
and ride the whims of your mind. Commanding in another world
Suddenly, you hear and see this magic new dimension"

–Queensryche, "Silent Lucidity"

I know I haven't blogged in a while, partially because of life being life, busy.
But during the hustle and bustle of life there are things I have been learning about others, about myself, and truly finding my place.

I have big plans, and for some reason, I have gained this amazing sense of confidence.

This is something that I have been lacking almost all of my life. No Im not on some Stuart Smalley kick thinking "dog gone it, I'm worth it"

I'm getting older, I'm learning from my past, my mistakes, and observing everything around me.

I'm learning about love again, I'm learning patience, tolerance, and most importantly determination.

Tonight as you can see I'm on a Queensryche kick. This particular song Silent Lucidity is something that always struck a cord with me. It always meant a lot to me.

My health is slowly improving, my endurance, and my stamina is growing, and not to say I am feeling invincible, but I'm ready to take a lot on right now.

My passion is coming back, honestly I thought I had lost it, but there it is.

My creativity is flowing again, and even when bad things happen, its not getting to me like it used to.

I am sure the weather has something to do with it, its relatively nicer outside, and I am a lot more active. Going to Starved Rock, climbing, hiking, riding my bike a TON more.

I like this direction.... the past is over.

Meh

2009-06-17T18:38:00.000-07:00

Discontentment is the feeling that has been overwhelming me and I just don't like it.

Usually when I get like this, I sink into a cocoon and try to heal from the inside out. While on the surface, I put on a smile, I over-think things, I over analyze and drive myself crazy.

Certain situations that I am going through right now, have me second guessing myself, as well as others, and I hate that.

Concert front has been quiet, I got my KMFDM tickets today for October's show, and I'm really looking forward to it. On the opposite side of this, the Lollapalooza schedule has come out today, and I'm less than thrilled. To the point that I am considering selling my 3 day pass (got it for $175 if anyone is interested).

It sucks that the only bands I want to see there are the headliners, and the ones I really want to see, are playing at the same time as the others I want to see.

If you know me, you know that music is my passion, and to make me choose between bands I want to see is like choosing a child. I just can't do it.

I'm still thinking about it, and who knows what will happen between now and August.

Maybe I'll approach the "healing from the inside" in a different manner. I do know this, I am back to focusing on myself, because then is when I will be truly happy.

Hope all you cats n kittens are doing well. Keep swingin' and make sure you hit me up with the concert and band tips. I need more shows!!!!

Another year come and gone...

2009-05-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

So I'm 33 now, and honestly, it doesn't bother me one bit.

I feel fine, I got to spend time with my friends down in Wrigleyville, got lots of well wishes, 3 dozen roses, a beautiful bracelet, Wii Fit (YAY) and my mom made an awesome red velvet with cream cheese icing birthday cake for me.

Im just all in all a happy girl as of late. Work seems to be going well (knock on wood) Im starting a 5 day vacation and it's beautiful weather outside.

I still have to get the podcast going, its on the list of things I really should do, and one of these days Ill get around to it.

This has been an interesting year, I had people leave my life, and new people come into my life. Some really awesome friends I reconnected with that I am soooo glad are back in my life. You ladies and gentlemen are the best and am having SUCH A BLAST with you all.

I had a breast cancer scare (all is well) Had some mom scares (I mean my mom, I didn't think I was pregnant). Still on the endless house search, which I am determined will find one before october of this year (DAMMIT).

Yep, just a happy girl.

NOW is the time that I start going to endless concerts, so more pics and updates to come soon!

There's a sucker born every minute

2009-04-30T18:57:00.000-07:00

For the length of this blog you can call me charms.

In my effort to get healthier, lose some weight and tone up, I have bought Nutrisystem, and have been increasing my goings to the gym. You have all recently read with my new found addiction to 5-hour energy shots and sugarless Redbull.

One Saturday morning as I lamented over my bland NutriSystem powdered eggs, I was flipping through channels and happened upon an infomercial for the Ab-circle.

Witness the gist here

NOW, the last time I saw an infomercial for an ab machine, it was around the same time of year. I bought it, and I actually lost around 100 lbs. YEAH, that much!

This thing looks ridiculously easy to use, and actually looks kind of fun.

NOW according to the infomercial, you use this thing, that is like a "treadmill for your abs" 3 minutes a day.

THAT I don't buy, so I'm sure I will be using it for a good 15-30 minutes a day.

I'll post some pics when it arrives, and let you know my true review of it.

My hope is that this ab machine will work just as well as the original one I got so many years go :)

5 HOUR ENERGY... and things that give you wings

2009-04-14T19:26:00.000-07:00

Lately I have found that I have become addicted to those 5 hour energy shots. I drink a max of 2 a day, once in the AM once in the evening. They actually work. I was just as shocked by it. You don't get a "jittery" feeling, and you don't crash, which is the most important thing to me.

But I have also gotten another similar addiction, Sugarless redbull. Im sure its not good for me to be drinking one of those to bridge the 2 5 hour energy shots I'm doing per day.

I know when the time comes I am going to have to ween myself off of them, but for now, its giving me the energy I have been craving as of late.

Once it gets warmer, it will totally come in handy when I'm biking in the morning again.

Latest music likes. I have shockingly become enamored with Lady Gaga. Something about her whole CD puts me in a good mood. I know lots of people think she is extraordinarily strange, but eh so be it.

Totally a guilty pleasure listen to me, but I don't care. Whatever makes you feel good, go with (is my theory).

Oh I do want to interject into this pleasant and somewhat sterile blog for a bit of a rant.

WTF is with the people who work downtown, who feel the need to have a PULLEE briefcase? I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Those people who have their briefcases, or back packs on a little miniature dolly that they pull here and there, everywhere they go, trailing a good foot and a half to two feet behind them.

They are, for the most part, completely inconsiderate of anyone walking around them. They will trip you, not realize it until it is too late (I've seen this happen, and thankfully it has NOT happened to me). And then these people have the NERVE to look at the person they tripped as if it is their fault and problem.

ALRIGHT, lets break this down. IF YOU ARE TOO WEAK to carry a damn briefcase or backpack normally, you either need to remember to LEAVE things at work and NOT carry so much back and forth, or be considerate of those around you.

These people rank right up there, with the able bodied people who WONT shovel in front of their house, or take an elevator ONE floor. Ofcourse I am speaking purely of ABLE bodied people.

SIGH.... I must have too much energy.

Send me an angel..... right now

2009-04-11T20:33:00.000-07:00

It happens every couple of months it seems. My mom's a diabetic, she has been for the past 15 some odd years at least. But it seems in the past couple of years she has been having more episodes where her blood sugar plummets out of nowhere.

The doctors say that there is no way to control it, it just can happen. I dont like that answer, but its not like I can go out and prove them wrong.

I seem to be blessed in the fact that every time her sugar dips, Im around or able to find her just in time. But that scares the shit out of me. Because, I wonder, what if I cant be there.

I know I cant live my life thinking that she cant be alone, but the fact of the matter is SHE CANT BE ALONE.

This isnt me, I dont like drama, I dont like being a "downer" but I want to know what I can do, to keep this shit from happening.

I know, there is nothing I can do, I know she has to take care of herself and be responsible for her health.

Its so fucking frustrating. All the times, Ive found her, and by some miracle was able to bring her back around.

I guess im just scared that one of these times, I wont be available. one of these times I wont be able to get her back.

Sorry, just had to vent.

Time to turn this shite around. SO I got my ticket to Lolla for this year, and IM jazzed about that. Going to see Chris Cornell again in a week with Cappy and his lovely lady Sara!! UBER excited about that, oh yeah and THE REV in August.

Im sure Ill be going to more shows between now and then as well.

Oh well, hope the easter bunny drops some yummy stuff in your baskets.

Talk at ya soon! ~G

Season Transition Sickness and things to look forward to

2009-03-30T18:34:00.000-07:00

I love spring, I love the buds starting to bloom, the breezes, the warmer weather. It screams new beginnings, new life, freshens everything around you.

The thing I hate is the cold/flu season that comes along with it.

I had plans set for every day this past weekend, and it was all called off due to illness. I wasn't feeling that hot on Thursday night and that is when the annoying cough began, but I didn't think much into it. Friday, I was freezing cold ALL DAY, and actually had the chills all night Friday onto Saturday. I attempted to sleep that night, with a hat, 2 blankets, long underwear and sweats on top of that. YEP still cold. Spent the entire weekend in bed, running and breaking fevers. I began feeling a bit better Monday morning, but to play it safe, and to make sure the fevers weren't coming back, I stayed home from work.

I'm feeling up to going back tomorrow, but I am sans voice, well, there are some squeaking sounds coming out, so I'm sure I'll be ok.

SO on a more up beat note, Lollapalooza tickets go on sale tomorrow, I'M SO EXCITED!!!

Rumored to headline Lolla 09 is Jane's Addiction (with original members) Beastie Boys, Depeche Mode, TOOL, the Killers, Kings of Leon. Those bands alone are totally enough for me to get my wristband. I'm also trying to get a posse together to go have some fun.

Last year's was great, NIN, Flogging Molly, Love and Rockets, Duffy, Gogol Bordello, RATM (rage), oh yeah and this lil group called RADIOHEAD was there. I even got to see Slash perform with Perry Ferrel, and as an encore, they did Jane Says. It was a surreal experience, the sound had gone out in the beginning of the song, but Perry kept singing, along with everyone who was there. I had a blast.

This years lineup promises to be as good if not an even better time.

on other notes...

The house search is continuing, *sigh* soon enough. Foxy is a very well behaved pooch!! and Dance class is going great. I'm actually considering signing up for a second class, this time Hip-Hop.

Time to take the Diva out, so we'll chat more later!

She's Going to Change the World....

2009-03-14T09:12:00.000-07:00

Last night was amazing. Out of pure luck I won 2 free passes to see Chris Cornell last night for an exclusive one night event.

It all started when I was checking my email Wednesday night, and at 10:30 I got an email from the Chris Cornell website, stating if I was one of the first 20 people to respond to the email I would win 2 free passes to see him perform on Friday the 13th. Much to my surprise I WON!! So, I asked my good friend Noel if he wanted to go with me, since he LOVES Chris Cornell so much, and off we went.

The show was at Architectural Artifacts, on Ravenswood in Chicago. This place was TRULY beautiful, and for the first time I felt like I was a VIP. It had an open top shelf bar, people walking around with Hors d'oeuvres, awesome lighting, candles everywhere, it was Beautiful. I even decided last night, when I get married, this will be the place that the event takes place.

We got there at a little before 8 PM, and were let into the main area at about 8. There was a big mix of people all around, I hate to say it, some that didnt even know who Chris Cornell was.

After some looking around, and a couple of drinks, Noel and I settled in as close as we could to the intimate stage setting.

Background: Chris Cornell just released a new solo album "Scream" which was produced by Timbaland (oh yeah, he was there too last night).

This new effort by Chris Cornell is a big departure from what people know him from. His voice is still AMAZING, and the new album is more electronic than his Soundgarden and Audioslave days. In my opinion its also INCREDIBLY danceable. I really love it, YES its different, but its still that Essential Rock Voice, that I have loved since High School, and mixed with Timbaland's producing, its really great! You should check it out!

NOW back to the show.... YES I took some pics, and I also got a recording of the second of the 5 songs he did. It was an all acoustic set, which was very nice.

The set list was:
1) Long Gone (off the new CD)

2) Cant Change Me (off of Euphoria Morning)

3) Ground Zero (off of the new CD)

4) Scream (title track off of new CD)

5) Fell on Black Days (off of Superunknown)

If you would like to see all the pics from last nights show, here is the link

PICS!!

He will be here in Chicago on tour in April at the Riviera (yes I will be attending, I already have my tickets)

And for your viewing AND listening pleasure, here is a little treat! (sorry for the shakey camerawork... someone kept hitting my arm)

And so it goes

2009-03-08T16:30:00.000-07:00

There are times that we all have, that we may have an inkling, or a feeling about how things turn out, how things will be.

We all have intuition, be it good or bad. Our intuition is not always spot on, and sometimes can easily be confused by our own fears, or frustrations, or wants.

I went for my mammogram. Its not a horrible test to go through, but as I had mentioned, I wasn't really worried about the test itself, I was more worried about the results. I don't have any results yet, I was told I should be able to know by Tuesday.

I did do some research online, not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but it seems to me that the standard amount of images taken for a mammogram is 4 shots (2 of each breast). Which is what I had, initially.

I stood how the technician asked me to (who confidentially made me feel very very comfortable, and she was very accomodating and very warm) She took the 4 initial images, and said to me something along the lines of "have a seat and wait here, Im going to check to make sure that the images came through ok" which I knew would happen. I also knew that if any of them were unclear, the images would be re-shot until they are readable and clear.

The technician came back to my room, with 2 more films, and said OK, I need to take a couple more images. I thought maybe something was unclear, but she said no, they needed to take 2 more images at different angles.

Which she took, and I waited again.

She informed me that I will probably be called back in for more tests, but my doctor would have all of the results on Tuesday, and I should talk to her then.

Now I wait.

B-day (no, not birthday)

2009-03-07T06:07:00.000-08:00

So today I am going to be going for a mammogram. This is something that is given to women beginning between the ages of 35-40, unless there is a cause for concern or a family history of breast cancer.

I have both.

I'll be sure to blog about the experience. And I love how I have such supportive friends and family members, without them I would be a wreck right now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm scared, I'm nervous, and its not about the test, its more about the results.

You see, my mom had breast cancer, the type of cancer she had was bi-lateral, and was a "mirror image" type of cancer that appeared in both of her breasts.

About a month ago, I found a lump, I immediately called my doctor, who examined me that same week, who found a second lump that I did not catch myself, on the exact opposite side on the opposite breast.

That threw up a red flag. I told her I was going to be going to my OB/GYN for a check up soon, and she wanted me to go to her for a second opinion, because it could very well be that I have just "lumpy" breasts. When I went to the second doctor, she confirmed what was felt, and gave me my marching orders.

Today is the day, from the time I scheduled it, to yesterday, I was fine. Kept going day to day, not really worrying about it, but yesterday it hit me hard.

Whatever faith you subscribe to, just keep a good thought, Im sure everything will be fine, but it never hurts for more support.

ALSO, to my friends, please remember to check yourself, remember that breast cancer can also be found in men as well as women.

And if you see or feel anything, make sure you act on it right away, its all about time, its all about early detection.

My mom was lucky, they caught it just in time with her. She was 41, and had a double mastectomy, as well as a lymphectomy (removal of lymph nodes under her arms). She thankfully never had to go through chemo, or go through radiation, and she has been in remission for the past 21 plus years.

Early detection saved her life.

Can't...Stop...Thinking....

2009-03-05T20:01:00.000-08:00

I sit here on a Thursday night, and I'm restless. I know I could sleep if I wanted to, but I feel unsettled. There is something I want, but I cant put my finger on what it is.

Like I should be doing something, or another thing.

My dance class was canceled tonight, so I relaxed, I watched repeats of Gray's and Private Practice, I fucked around on facebook for a bit, I did some online searches of silly, unimportant things, I listened to music, I took my pooch out, but I feel like there is more I have to do.

I'm sure I am just apprehensive about an upcoming test I am supposed to have on Saturday, and deep down I'm sure I will be just fine.

I'm not restless in a bad way, I'm looking forward to the future, I can't explain it. I feel like Christmas is a few days away, and the biggest present under the tree is mine, and its all wrapped up, and I'm itching to rip into it.

Work is going well, things are pretty fair in general (knock on wood). Maybe its the sense of spring in the air. It has always been my favorite time of year, the thunderstorms, the warming weather, the sound of birds chirping in the morning. Some of my favorite things.

I've always been thankful for spring. It always makes me smile to see newly budding flowers, to see the little green tips sprouting on the tips of tree limbs.

I almost feel like I am going somewhere, like there is a big trip I am about to take, where everything will be new, and exciting and interesting. I just cant ignore this feeling.

Sometimes I get too introspective

2009-01-25T16:49:00.000-08:00

So, new years comes along, and most people make resolutions, I being one of them. Maybe I should say that I used to be one of them. Why should I depend on a date to make changes that I know I should be doing already? I resolve to not make resolutions on New Years for sake of the date, but to do the things I should be doing regardless of the time of year it is. I resolve to not beat myself up if I lose my way on my quest.

I suppose that is all any of us can truly ask for. I would also like to take this time to officially announce my divorce from winter. Seriously, this coldness is draining me. I don't want to do anything when it gets this bad, Don't get me wrong, if I have to do something I do it, but if I don't HAVE to, I find a way to talk myself out of it.

So all day today and last night, I have been on a Foo Fighter kick, and realize that the song "Best of You" always makes me cry. I'm a tad disturbed by this fact. While I know I'm pretty strong, and alot of times I don't want to show my weaknesses to anyone, more and more lately, they are showing through whether I like it or not. I'm finding myself to be hurt easier, things are getting to me more, that normally wouldn't bother me. I'm becoming more sensitive. I HATE this. I want to blame all of this on the weather, on the cold, on the fact that I'm not outside more (like I am when the weather is nicer).

I have always worn my heart on my sleeve, that is something that has never changed, but it seems more exposed, maybe more threatened now. Maybe I'm hormonal, who knows. I'm spilling my heart out to a publicly viewed blog, so I may as well let it rip. Each and every one of you are my confessors, forgive me for my sins, will ya?

Do you ever go through the day looking for the significance in everything? Wondering what the reasoning behind everything is, I have been. Sometimes I just want to stop thinking. I need to pour this energy back into composing like I used to. Maybe I will. EH, I could podcast too, but when you're not feeling all high energy, like I have been feeling, the last thing I want to do is put a mic infront of my face and play nice.

Christ, is this what Emo kids go through? Lately, lol, I've been exceptionally girlie feeling.

I'm too old to be an emo kid, and I don't feel like listening to MCR right now. (another guilty pleasure band)

Honestly, all I want, is to be held, my hair to be stroked, be kissed on my forehead, and to be told, "Don't worry baby, everything is going to be great"

I was to weak to give in, too strong to lose. My heart is under arrest again, but I break loose.

Her Name is Foxy.....

2009-01-19T19:20:00.000-08:00

About 4 years ago, my moms friend showed up with this box, a bigger box, cardboard, some holes poked in it. and the top was closed on it.

I came home, right when this box was dropped off, and it was sitting in my living room, all of a sudden the top of the box popped open, and appeared was the cutest little black faced and otherwise brown in color, with one little white spot on her muzzle with soft floppy ears.

It was the CUTEST puppy I ever saw in my life. I immediately picked her up, and held her on my chest, and the little thing, who couldnt have weighed more than 7 pounds, fell asleep on my chest.

I sat down on my couch with this little pup in my arms, and we both just fell asleep.

My mom was going to give her to an elderly neighbor who lived across the alley from us, so she had companionship. This lady was so sweet, and so alone, and even though my mom and myself took turns visiting with her, so she had some company every now and again, we wanted her to have a constant. Something she could take care of.

The pup was a sheppard/lab mix. Heavy on the sheppard. She followed me around no matter where I walked, wagging her tail, that formed into a perfect question mark.

I begged to keep the pup for myself, but all of my begging and pleading was for not. The pup went to the ladys house.

At least I could still go visit her, right?

The first week went by, and I was still a little upset that I couldnt keep this cutest puppy ever for myself. I went to check on the woman, and the dog, and seemed that she had began to call the dog bubba.

I was not pleased with this name. This was a cute little girl pup, not a BUBBA.

Week 2 went by, and it seemed that the pup still followed me everywhere when I went to visit, but really wasnt listening to the lady, I couldnt put my finger on it, but I sensed something was wrong.

It was in the third week, we got a call, "can you come take the dog back, I cant seem to take care of her"

Personally I believe the lady's son who never ever visited but to bring her groceries once a week, made her give it back.

It was then, I was allowed to get my pup, the little brown/black dog, that had a face like a fox. I called her Foxy Brown.

She was a mischevious lil pup. Within the first month of me having her, she chewed through my keyboard wire, my powersupply wire for my mac tower, and killed any toy we got for her. BUT on the positive side, she housetrained quickly and happily. My dog NEVER messes in the house.

She would often take something that doesnt belong to her, to make us chase her. Anything to play, she LOVES to fetch, and wrestle, and play.

and when shes done, all 65 pounds of her hops up onto your lap, and lays there.

She loves attention, she LOVES love, and is very protective of me, and her rawhides. DO NOT even think about reaching for her bone, she will nip at ya.

Today, I was getting ready for work, and the morning was pretty normal. Foxy went outside, ran in the yard, we played a little bit. I was about to leave for the day, wrapped up in my coat, scarves and earmuffs, with my backpack on my back, and I reached down, saying bye bye pup, and that was when she lunged at me. grabbing me in the left hand. I saw stars. I immediately went to my kitchen putting on the cold water to wash out the bite area. and I thought, oh she punctured me, I was bleeding pretty good. I didnt want to be late for work, and it really wasnt hurting so I wrapped it up in tissue, put my glove over it and went on my way.

I caught my train, and on the train I was curious, so I took my glove off and saw that the tissues that I was holding on my hand where i was bit was SOAKED with blood, it was then i really discovered, that it was not a small puncture wound, it was about an inch long rip, and it was deep.

I went to the ER, they checked me out, and I actually had to file a report with the police, since it was a dog bite, and yes even though it was my own dog, I still had to.

Oh yeah, my hand hurts now, but things should be ok.

I promptly took fox to the vet today after work, and they had to by law, do a "rabies observation" even though she is up to date with all of her shots. SO the dog is on doggie house arrest for the next 10 days, which isnt that bad. I take her back for her final evaluation in 10 days, and then hopefully this nightmare will be behind us.

NOW... onto finding a good dog trainer I can work with personally!!!

Foxy is fine, I am fine, and things will be ALOT better!!

More Nasty

2008-12-05T18:17:00.001-08:00

So, I was going through some emails today on the account I hardly use, and I received a message from Social Distortion....

"Due to complications within the MUSINK touring company and outside of Social Distortion's control, the MUSINK tour featuring Social D has been shelved by tour organizers. Stay tuned for upcoming SD news."

I'm pissed. Musink with Social D Headlining was supposed to be here in chicago on Valentines Day. and I read this.

I want a reason why... I want to know what happened. I deal with disappointment pretty well usually, but this really bothered me. The Musink website is down, there is no blog, nor explaination from Kat, but somehow it was mentioned on the Motley website (if I am not mistaken)

I used to be a big fan of Kat Von D, and while she is a talented artist, I have to wonder about some of the decisions she has made in the past. Yes we all do stupid things sometimes, and I am not excluded from this group, but I have to wonder what exactly happened as to why it is being cancelled.

I suppose I can only hope that either Mike Ness solo or Social D will be here in chicago in 2009.

IM crushed

a rant, a rambling

2008-12-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

Lets get the nasty out of the way first, shall we?

Whats with these people who work downtown, that insist on carrying (ha, they aren't carrying anything) but DRAGGING those wheelie bags. I get it if they are traveling somewhere and leaving from the office, and that it is an actual SUITCASE, but no, these are briefcases on wheels, BACKPACKS on wheels. WTF. do they realize that these carts o death are a nuisance to those of us who carry backpacks ON OUR BACKS (WHAT A CONCEPT) please, if you insist on using these things, please be considerate of other people when you are walking, don't cut them off with your dragging bag of doom, especially now that the sidewalks and streets are more slippery.

Oh and I ranted about this last winter, WTF is it with people that cant get off their asses and SHOVEL THE DAMN SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF THEIR HOUSE? I can do it, my neighbors do it (for the most part) and we all pitch in around here and help our elderly neighbors out so they dont have to. There is nothing worse than face planting on a cold, icy, slippery sidewalk, oh and did I mention its HARD?? Kinda hurts too.

Now for some rambling updates.

I'm happy its December, I'm happy Christmas is on its way. Have alot of things coming up, been going out more again, been having fun. Have some get togethers to go to, a few concerts, and LOTS of shopping. Oh the podcast is coming along too.

Goin to see THE REV on Tuesday, and will check out a band this coming saturday night, My sisters 40th birthday is coming up, and if you know my sister, you will know I need to get my drinking shoes on. It WILL be a fun night, (including my awesome barbeque meatballs)

Learned some crappy news about some good friends, and if any of you are reading this, YOU ARE ALL AWESOME PEOPLE, and you will all land on your feet with better opportunities, and more money, and better experiences. and for all of you I am and will always be there for you.

K, Ill blog more later.

Earache My Eye!

2008-11-17T20:23:00.000-08:00

Tis the season for cold weather, fa la la la laaa la la la la. Bundle up and get you better, fa la la la laaaa la la la la, coughing, sneezing, eyes are weeping, fa la laa la la laaa la la laaaa, if you dont you will pay deeply, fa la la la laaaaaa la la la laaaaa.

Woke up sunday, felt good, was happy, was about to have 2 days off from work, had some family stuff to do. I got out of bed, went to get a cup of coffee, and felt something in my right eye. I grabbed a tissue and lightly wiped my eye, nothing there. Figured it was nothing, so I went on to get my coffee, and start to contemplate my day.

Uh oh, I guess something is in my eye, its starting up again. I went to the mirror to look, EEEEK it was swolle, the lid was anyway.

This will NOT do. I figured I was having an allergic reaction to something, because I felt fine!!

I took some benadryl, which I really didnt want to do, I was feeling fine, and benedryl makes me very sleepy. I bit the bullet, took the pills and went to sleep for a few hours.

When I woke, It looked like the swelling went down a bit, but was still there.

I went on with my day, didnt stop anything I had planned, went on a nice long bike ride, the eye wasnt really bothering me.

When I got back from my ride, I was freezing. It was cold out! but I couldnt warm up, at least the eye swelling was not getting worse.

Had a family dinner, poked around online, watched a movie, talked to the boy, went to bed.

I woke up this morning, to my eye being swollen shut. WTF was my only reaction.

I called my opthamologist, who had me come in today in the afternoon so he could see what was going on. But in the meantime, I was told to keep warm compresses on it.

In the time between the phone call and the appt, my eye began to weep, and become sensitive to light.

Finally made it to my appt, where I had to go through the normal battery of preliminary tests, including the glaucoma test (you know that fun little puff of air in the eye). I wished the tech luck with that test, and I was informed, that I would have "numbing drops" put into my eyes, to allow them to test for glaucoma with this thing that looked like a blunt object poked into the center of my eye. CHRIST, give me the puff of air any day.

SOOOO attractive to have my eye held open with a stick. I have become an "ewwww" story.

The preliminary tests came out fine, no wierd pressure, no glaucoma, no eye injury.

My doctor came to look at me, and he said the only thing he could think of, is that it is the grand-daddy of a sty forming (HOT, isnt it??) and that I have to take antibiotics and have warm compresses on my eye to try to make it go down. and if after a while, if it still doesnt go down, I may have to have surgery on it, to see what exactly is going on.

GOOD TIMES!!!

Ill keep you posted.

blah

November Rain

2008-11-15T09:53:00.000-08:00

November is usually an interesting month. Always marks changings in me, physically, emotionally, its strange. Im wanting to get ready for the holidays, but eh, not too early.

I've been seeking things out more, things to do, people to see, places to go. Ive never been shy about doing things on my own, and I suppose this is no different now.

I like going on my little adventures, finding different curious things. Meeting different people, people watching.

My concert calendar has quieted down ALOT since this summer, but I do believe it is about to start picking up again. Reverend Horton Heat is due here in Chicago in December, and I cannot wait to go, the Rev always puts on a great show, with his great rockabilly style, nature boy Jimbo and his Big Thumping Bass... mmmmm so nice.

AND I did get an AMAZING newflash. The one the only Social Distortion is going to be back in Chicago. I just wish I knew when.

They will be here with the convention Musink a music/tattoo festival started by Kat Von D.

I will take Social D any way I can get them, Mike Ness specifically. We all know my love for that man, so I wont go back into it here.

I have Monday and Tuesday off of work this week, and will be celebrating my moms 63rd Birthday. For her gift, I got us Orchestra seats for Jersey Boys (for her, my sister and Cathy), took her to see Wicked last year for her birthday, and she had a great time. She had been peeping about going to see Jersey Boys (I think its because she dated one of the original seasons – before they were famous). Well, and the fact that her and my father LOVED that music.

Some Side Notes:

Thank you to everyone for your kind words, and thoughts when my uncle passed a few weeks ago, my family will be healing for a while, but things will be ok.

The podcast is coming, Im thinking it will all start up in January (being posted and starting for the listening public), in the meantime, I am getting shows together, running through Ideas, and even trying to work on some music for it.

Nutrisystem is going good, dropping slowly, but healthfully, past couple of weeks were a struggle, nbut Im back on track, and in the mind set, so Im not worried.

The condo/townhouse search is going well, I really dont want to move in the winter, and the housing market is for shit (as well as all of the other markets). Im not liking the idea of getting a forclosure home, basically because more and more I have been hearing stories of previous owners messing with the house, to make it a living hell for the new owners. (spiteful, and mean, but still happens).

Yes, im getting the photography bug again, 35mm style. Have to go back out like I used to. I love my cannon, and havent used it as much as I used to, prior to the digital cam revolution. There is something about FILM that just gives a certian mood, and feel to any photo, whether it be color or black and white. But anywhoo, I havent posted any pics on the blog of anything, and I really need to!

Ok cats n kittens, im off to the gym now!! SOOO glad to be off on Monday and Tuesday.

I understand.....

2008-10-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

You never realize how strong words can be. Words can be dull, or sharp, they can be sweet, or sour, and depending on who is saying them and who is hearing them, you never really realize what those simple letters strung together can actually do.

Sure, sometimes, we say things in the heat of the moment, we're going on our "feelings" without taking into consideration the "feelings" we are altering in the person who is the target of our verbal onslaught.

"DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER", something we have all said, or heard, right?

Sometimes it might not even be that bad, what was said, but it can accumulate over time, it can leave an impression, and those impressions can last a very long time, and can wound deeply.

While I am not so naive to think that everyone who reads this will never say another harsh word to anyone else, I would like to think that maybe, everyone who reads this, might not be so quick to lash out verbally at someone. Maybe even, use the little words, to do positive things, because those have just as profound an affect on someone.

My family is in mourning right now, we are trying to heal right now, because of the affects that words have had on one person.

Remember, while there may be a displeasing situation you may be facing in an instance, you never know what someone else is going through at that same moment.

Think and filter before you speak, be soft hearted with your words when you do speak, and remember, it is better to have 2 minds trying to solve a problem (works faster that way), than one person barking what the problem is.

Chardonel... lots of Chardonel

2008-10-24T20:14:00.001-07:00

So a couple weeks back I went to Louisville with my friend Tricia. We made a 5 hour drive down south to go visit our friend Leah, who we used to work with. She is currently in Law School down there at U of L and is kicking ass!! I am so proud of her, I love Leah and she is going to be an amazing Litigator, she is already an amazing Woman!!

While we were down there for the weekend, we went to this cute little orchard/winery called Hubers. We went to a wine tasting room in there and sampled from 8 different wines they had to offer (they had more than 8 but we each chose 8. From the tasting, we all got giggly, and I ended up buying 5 bottles. 2 of which were a chardonel. A chardonel is like a chardonnay, it is very light, very tasty. AND GOES DOWN EASY!! I have had an entire bottle tonite!! Doesnt really go well with the nutrisystem, but hey, I need a gimme after the week I have had.

Back to the adventure at the orchard/winery. After our tasting and my shopping spree of the vinyards, we decided to have a little snack, of cheese, and fresh french bread, and more cheese, and some meat, and more wine, and even more cheese.

It was during this time when we were sitting, and eating and drinking and talking, that for the first time in a LONG time I was truly happy, I was smelling the fresh air, I was looking at the autumn canvas that surrounded me, in beautiful reds, oranges, yellow's and golds. It was picture perfect, and me being the dumbass I am, I forgot my camera. ALL the more reason for me to go back. It is SOOOOO worth the trip.

SO this inspired me, to find more winery's in chicago and IL. I would love to go to some more tastings.

MMMMMM more chardonel please!!

I've Been Tagged

2008-10-23T17:22:00.000-07:00

It seems that I have been tagged by Miss Amanda! This is a first for me, and a sign that I really need to blog more.

Here are the rules:

1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird.

3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.

4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

5. If you don’t have 7 blog friends, or if someone else already took dibs, then tag some unsuspecting strangers.

**************************************

7 facts about Me

1) Im actually in the process of creating my own podcast. It will mainly be about music, but other things will be peppered in throughout. I know alot of people who do podcast, and I suppose you could say they have inspired me. And since I am official music junkie, I figured why not.

2) I have never, ever, seen Star Wars all the way through, not because I dont want to, just because I have not made it through the movie. But that is one of my goals for this year, and Im sure I will get around to it sometime.

3)I was originally supposed to be named Danielle, but apparently, a couple who lived across the street from my parents named their daughter Danielle first, and my mother did not want me to have the same name as anyone else that close to us (in proximity) I also was supposed to be named Lydia, but when my mother learned that there was a song by the Marx Brothers about "Lydia the tattooed lady" she couldn't bear to imagine her youngest daughter being taunted because of that song. She decided to have my father name me. Little did she know then that I would end up being the only one of her 3 children to have tattoos.

4) My favorite comfort food snack is whole grain saltine crackers with fresh honey. It is something that I had for the first time when I was 6 years old, when I was in school and learning about bees, beehives and how honey was made. Our teacher brought in a real honeycomb, and we tasted honey from the cone on crackers, I was hooked ever since then.

5) I cannot crack my knuckles. No matter how hard I try I cannot do it, but for some reason, if anyone tries to crack my knuckles, they can easily. I can however crack my ankle at will, and it is loud enough that even when Im on the phone with someone, and I crack my ankle, the person on the other end of the line can hear me doing it.

6) I am currently taking a belly dancing class (I cant believe I am admitting this on a blog) Ive only taken a couple of classes, but it is some of the best exercise ever!! That and I like the little jingle sound when I shake my hips. Its fun, and it actually makes me feel like a dancer, because we run through routines, bit by bit, and then do the whole lesson a couple of times before we break. I have 8 more classes to go, and I may even sign up for 10 more when the next 8 are done.

7) I love to cook, and make everything from scracth when I can. Some of my favorite things to make is my home made chicken parmesean, the red lobster cheddar biscuits, and I collect cook books, and love to try different recipies from each one when I can. Yet I currently eat Nutrisystem for breakfast lunch and dinner (it does work teehee!!)

I will not be posting tags to people I dont know, thats just mean. And not all of my friends blog...

but I will give it a go, I am tagging:

Fran The Twin Tornadoes' Mommy

Noel Myspace Page

Connie Myspace Page

OK, all done for now... Talk to you soon!!!

It's Time......

2008-08-17T09:54:00.000-07:00

To glamorize!!!

Thats right.... Nutrisystem seems to be working. Lost some weight, and im going to stick to it. Shipment two comes this week.

Now... im going to start the second phase of this "make me over" mentality that I have going on. Time to Glamorize.

*smirk* I just cant wait......

Holy Food Box, Batman!

2008-07-17T18:26:00.000-07:00

So I as I mentioned in a previous posting, I ordered nutrisystem this past weekend. Surprise, Surprise, Surprise–It came today.

I see the big brown box, a very heavy, big brown box.

When I opened it, it was filled, in no order with food, snacks, desserts, breakfasts, luches

35 of each. CHRIST... where the fuck am I going to put all of this stuff.

Thankfully it doesn't have to be refrigerated.

Tomorrow, the bigger test, how it tastes and satiates.

Can't stop now, don't you know....

2008-07-14T21:06:00.001-07:00

Good Evening Cats n Kittens! Hope this Monday evening finds you well.

I wake up this morning, get ready for work, arrive at my office and get an email from my good friend Tiara.

TONIGHT WAS THE YAZOO SHOW... (I felt like an ass because I SWORE it was supposed to be on a Tuesday, and not tonite). The show was at the Chicago Theater.

But thankfully, I didn't have any problems in just going as originally intended (yay).

Now I had never been to the chicago theater before, ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! I cant wait to go to another show there, so I can bring my camera and take pictures of the decor. I was floored.

We had AWESOME seats, Seriously something like 15th row I think, on the main floor. We could see everything perfectly.

AWESOME SHOW. You must see this band. Alison Moyet's voice sent chills, this woman still has it, her voice is purely haunting, and it was so great to sit and experience it in a theater with proper acoustics. Vince Clarke was still the techno mastermind he always was. The show also included this great multimedia display through the whole experience.

Seriously, this was an experience, not a performance.

The music still holds up, and we are talking tunes that are easily 25-30 years old (crazy huh?). I know what you're thinking, I dont think I have ever heard of them (you have, we all have) Its techno, SynthPop from the early 80's. Some of their commercial hits are songs like Don't Go, and Situation (you know the song that goes "move out-Don't Mess Around").

I really had a good time!!

Oh well, its nappy time (cause seriously, I never get a full nights sleep).

Catch ya on the flipside!

As much as things change....

2008-07-11T22:07:00.000-07:00

They sure do stay the same. Been nostalgic for some old music, that for some reason had my ass shaking when I was alot (Im talking grammar school). Old Prince, which led me to Appolonia 6 and Vanity 6.

Cause tonite, livin' in a fantasy, a whole little nasty world....do ya think I'm a nasty girl??

and who cant forget.... "C'mon kiss the gun!!!"

Yes thats right Im a sex shooter, lol apparently without a compass....

The week has been crazy busy for me. I attended a week of intense orientation at work, which actually was very good. Im not used to a company caring so much for their employees that they actually make it a point to educate their new employees on everything from legal matters, to product, to mission.

It was highly intensive, but it was great!

Met some great people who work in my company, and I do believe there will soon be a happy hour group *smirk*.

Music Moods lately....

On Monday, checked out Mighty Mighty Bosstones along with the Dropkick Murphy's with my friend Amanda! Lots of fun. I cant say much for the opening girl band too. Im all for riot girl punk, but I did'nt dig them so much. Eh, maybe they are better in studio rather than live. Some punk bands are just like that.

Tonight however, seems to be a throwback to the 80's (as mentioned earlier).

Also, recently, I have discovered Puscifer... HOLY SHIT is all I can say. Wanna talk about FUCK ME music? Its pretty good. It's not quite metal, not quite alternative, not quite trance, but all quite good.

Oh and this weekend, im breaking down and ordering Nutrisystem... yeah its expensive, but I really want to try it. Ill keep y'all updated on the progress.

Play it again, Sam....

2008-06-21T22:44:00.000-07:00

So here we go again, a new chapter in the blogging life of G. (Pun intended)
These will be relatively short... sweet... to the point.

It's Sunday morning as I write this, I'm getting ready to go to bed soon, and figured why not start up a new blog.

Lots of things in my life are changing, in flux almost, but I'm taking this as a good thing. Change is good, so I'm told, so I may as well roll with it this time. I had always freaked out about change before, and fought it tooth and nail. But if I have learned anything, I have learned that life's too short, and I want to make the most out of my time here.

A couple of months ago I started a new job at a new company and met some new people. I think I can safely say I really like it, and I feel I made a wise decision. It was the logical next step for me career wise, and actually its making me a different, and I think better person.

I seem to be calmer, more relaxed. I have better focus now, and am starting to change the things I don't like about myself.

Yep that's right, back on the weight loss trip. So Ill be posting progress, and as it goes on, some pics too I hope. No fuck that... I don't hope to, I will.

G'night kiddies. Till next time.