Learning new things...

So lately the word apathetic has been popping up in not only my vocabulary, but also in my mind a lot lately. Considering everything that I have gone through in the past 9 months I suppose it is only natural for me to have these feelings.

A good friend asked me today if I feel apathetic about myself, and honestly I had never really thought about it in those terms before, and as I sat there outside big willie I realized that I did.

I had never pegged myself like that before, I had never been apathetic about myself before and it is abundantly clear that I am. Obviously this is no bueno, and steps must be taken to get rid of this thought pattern in my life.

SO, I do believe I will be taking myself to a therapist, just to see if I can road-map myself out of these feelings and into myself again.

It could be something that I have needed for a long time, even longer than going through my mothers illness and death. Who knows, but I do know for the first time in my life I am actually reaching out for help.

You might ask why I am blogging about this. Well to be honest, I have my reservations about it, but this shouldn't be treated like some dirty little secret. In a way, if I don't get this out, I am kind of keeping it a secret from myself.

I am hoping to make this into a new journey in my life, and who knows what will come out of it, but I am hoping it will be (and I have a good feeling it will be) something good.

I thought about doing a rant again, thinking that was going to get these disdain like feelings purged from me, but honestly, all that does is alleviate a temporary symptom.

I can say right off the bat, I owe some people some apologies for the hypersensitivity that I have been feeling lately. I guess I have always been a sensitive girl, from the time that I was a kid. I learned to roll with things, and adapt, but I always come back to myself. I guess we all do.

I suppose this is enough blathering for one night... I have some freelance to take care of, and am hoping for a great storm tonight.

Talk Hard!
G6