Sometimes I get too introspective

So, new years comes along, and most people make resolutions, I being one of them. Maybe I should say that I used to be one of them. Why should I depend on a date to make changes that I know I should be doing already? I resolve to not make resolutions on New Years for sake of the date, but to do the things I should be doing regardless of the time of year it is. I resolve to not beat myself up if I lose my way on my quest.

I suppose that is all any of us can truly ask for. I would also like to take this time to officially announce my divorce from winter. Seriously, this coldness is draining me. I don't want to do anything when it gets this bad, Don't get me wrong, if I have to do something I do it, but if I don't HAVE to, I find a way to talk myself out of it.

So all day today and last night, I have been on a Foo Fighter kick, and realize that the song "Best of You" always makes me cry. I'm a tad disturbed by this fact. While I know I'm pretty strong, and alot of times I don't want to show my weaknesses to anyone, more and more lately, they are showing through whether I like it or not. I'm finding myself to be hurt easier, things are getting to me more, that normally wouldn't bother me. I'm becoming more sensitive. I HATE this. I want to blame all of this on the weather, on the cold, on the fact that I'm not outside more (like I am when the weather is nicer).

I have always worn my heart on my sleeve, that is something that has never changed, but it seems more exposed, maybe more threatened now. Maybe I'm hormonal, who knows. I'm spilling my heart out to a publicly viewed blog, so I may as well let it rip. Each and every one of you are my confessors, forgive me for my sins, will ya?

Do you ever go through the day looking for the significance in everything? Wondering what the reasoning behind everything is, I have been. Sometimes I just want to stop thinking. I need to pour this energy back into composing like I used to. Maybe I will. EH, I could podcast too, but when you're not feeling all high energy, like I have been feeling, the last thing I want to do is put a mic infront of my face and play nice.

Christ, is this what Emo kids go through? Lately, lol, I've been exceptionally girlie feeling.

I'm too old to be an emo kid, and I don't feel like listening to MCR right now. (another guilty pleasure band)

Honestly, all I want, is to be held, my hair to be stroked, be kissed on my forehead, and to be told, "Don't worry baby, everything is going to be great"

I was to weak to give in, too strong to lose. My heart is under arrest again, but I break loose.