About 10 months ago, I had an annoying pain in my lower back. It was a bit persistent and I made an appointment to see my doctor. I never had a problem going to visit my doctor before, and I was due for a checkup so I was not expecting anything out of the ordinary. Honestly I was expecting her to say, you pulled a muscle, take some tylenol and suck it up.
But this time was different. She examined me, and asked me questions, which ended up leading me to have an ultrasound, just to make sure I was not having something like kidney stones.
I have had ultrasounds many times, and they never bothered me. This time was no different.
I got the call a couple of days later, "It seems you have a few cysts showing up, I want you to come in for a different ultrasound to get a better look"
No biggie, I wasnt worried, she assured me that I really didnt have anything to worry about, but it was better to get a view of what was going on.
I went for the next ultrasound, this one way more invasive. To the point that I felt like I should have gotten dinner from the radiologist first.
It was confirmed, I have ovarian cysts. Still I was not worried, it is a very common thing in women my age. They usually go away on their own.
"Come back for another ultrasound in 3 months"
This went on about 4 times. Cysts appeared, and disappeared, on both ovaries. But one cyst just didn't go away.
During the times I was having these "check-in's" I went through A LOT. I lost my mother, went through other trials, with friends, with people more than friends, with work, with family. Life was purely stress, and these cysts were honestly at the last of the long list of things to worry about. Honestly, I simply thought of them, as the little reminder of my lower back and now lower front pain.
Last month, I went for my 4th ultrasound appointment. I got the call a couple of days later
"Its time you go see a specialist, this needs to get taken care of"
I figured I would hear those words, and I still was not fearful. I am 34 years old, relatively healthy, and going through something that many women my age go through.
I went to see my specialist, she looked at all of my films, all of the reports. She examined me, and made me feel as comfortable as possible. She truly is one of the best and most professional doctors I have ever met, and I am so glad she is my doctor.
She discussed with me the possibilities of what these cysts may be. And assured me, that very very rarely would a cyst such as what was not going away was cancer. I had no worries at all. Just to be safe and to rule out the worst, she had me take a CA-125 screening.
The results came back that my levels were elevated, which can be an indicator of cancer, but also, this screening is not the best, and there are many factors that can go on with a patient to give false positives or elevated levels.
I also have yet another ultrasound, this one a doppler, which measures blood flow among other things. It was then that a second large cyst was discovered. It had not been picked up on any of the other ultrasounds that I had.
The call came the following Wednesday, this past Wednesday to be exact. "I am going to talk to the surgeon to discuss what I am seeing in this doppler, Im pretty confident that these are benign cysts, but there is a strong chance that they have damaged your ovary, and it may have to be removed along with the cysts"
For the first time, I actually begin to slightly worry. Having children is one of the most important things that I have ever wanted to do, and I have not yet had the chance to experience that joy.
She assured me, that I will still be able to have kids, and I believe her, and I know one day I will.
She told me that the surgeon would give me a call tomorrow to discuss what steps come next.
And sure enough, the next morning (yesterday), I got the call. "I am concerned about the cysts that are appearing on your ovary, and adding to my concern is the levels that your CA-125 screening are at. Please make an appointment with me for early next week so I can examine you and we can get everything set up."
Now I don't know what cards are being dealt for me, but no matter what, I am going to stay positive. I will remain unflappable. No matter what is dealt to me, I will handle it. With strength and grace, its how my mother taught me to be.
This weekend, I plan on listening to my favorite songs, I will walk my dog, I will see friends, I will laugh and I will live. And I will continue to do that for as long as I can after this weekend, no matter what.
This whole experience that I am going through has taught me a valuable lesson. I always tried to not take life for granted, to not take the little things for granted, but for some reason, it really has a different meaning now.
To be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment