362 days

If you would have told me a year ago, that I would have gone through what I have gone through in the past 362 days I would have laughed at you and thought you were crazy.

You warned me, a year ago today, that it wouldn't be long. I looked at you and said "Ma, don't say things like that, keep fighting, everything will be fine!"

You were taken from me that following Tuesday morning.

I will never forget that day. I woke up, feeling great, at the crack of dawn, went to the gym, was energized, and for the first time in a LONG time I was happy. Little did I know, it would also be the last time in a LONG time that I would be happy. It was 362 days ago that I heard you say "I love you" for the last time. I for some reason was the one to hear this, your last words. It was on the phone, after your doctors called me at work, telling me to get to Loyola as quickly as I could. I asked to talk to you when they called me, that was when you told me, those last words.

Nee and UA were there with you, but after that call you said no more. When I finally got to the hospital, you were already gone. All I could do was cry, hold your hand, kiss your forehead. I couldn't let go, I still cant. I looked at you and made a vow that day, to always do my best to make you proud, and every day I try to do just that.

I miss you and love you so much Mom, and while I know you're with me, I would give anything to sit and talk to you again, have another one of your hugs, or hear you laugh one more time.

Love Always,
the Baby